Ello ello you lovely mother fuckers! Thank you for stopping by today. I hope you’re all having a good day. I know it’s Monday, but E3 season is upon us, so there’s still reason to be in good spirits. Today, I’m rewinding to this past Saturday. By now,  we’re probably all a bit drunk on that hype-train Koolaide, but let’s step it back for a second.

If you’ve followed this site at all, then you know that I have been…. well; we’ll say “constructive” in my critique of AAA developers and their partner/ owner publishers. EA, DICE, and Battlefront, have all been my crosshairs more than once. But holy fuck, did you watch the Battlefront 2 presentation?! The polygons, the classes, the lightsabers…. Ok, ok, ok, I’m getting a little too out of pocket. Before I jump on that EA “D”, let’s look at this objectively. We’ve all been fucked over in the not so distant past.

So, here’s what we know so far. We’ll be given access to characters from across the 3 eras of Star Wars. Multiplayer classes will be available, with full customization. So putting in work and PTFO’ing (playing the fucking objective) should earn you more than just that grinding for asthestics feeling we got from the last. We’r being promised free “season DLC”, split screen co-op, and a campaign. Which by the way, the campaign was described as telling “critical and important” story between the Return of The Jedi and The Force Awakens.

Now there are still a few questions left, that I’m not exactly comfortable with. Like, 40 man matches, aren’t exactly groundbreaking anymore; so are their bots like there were in the old school classic. If there are bots… Are they good ones? Other things pop out also, like, we were told during the presentation that there is 3 times the content than what was in the last game. But 3 times more shit is just a lot more shit. And honestly, I may just be cynical, but it’s this kind of wording that raises suspicion in my mind.

When a triple A publisher like EA says that they’re giving away “season DLC”… Da fuck is that? Don’t get me wrong, I like the way that sounds, but that has funny taste to it. It’s almost like a mix of fromunda and mierda. Again, not saying that they are out right lying, but you know, and I know, that EA isn’t exactly known for their generosity.

I kinda hate to be this way, but EA isn’t stupid. They’ve had investor conference calls where they basically said that they haven’t fully recognized the full potential of micro transactions. Giving away formerly pay for DLC, just doesn’t seem to fit…. Unless there’s a potential for pay to win. Why wouldn’t they provide an in game currency, that can be purchased, instead of earned? Also, make that currency have a funny exchange rate, so you have to buy 40K worth when you’ll only need 38K for that slick American flag Storm Trooper skin? Why not still provide pay for “premium maps”, or “premium” queuing; “get to the front of the line for $15 a year”? It’s a Star Wars title, so people are going to buy it. Especially if they go into the deal expecting “free” shit. Also, gamers these days, seem as if they can’t wait to finish buying the rest of a game they already bought. They don’t expect any less.

I’m not saying that this is the case. I hope that it’s not. I really hope that EA felt the backlash from the last Battlefront, and really did reflect on it; and refocus their marketing. But life has taught me a few things. One of those things, is that people can change, but rarely do. The other is that a publicly traded company isn’t going to kick down, and they certainly aren’t taking any less.

The game does look stunning though, and the multiplayer demo was compelling. I’m hoping it’s the best yet. The potential is there, and EA in conjunction with DICE, appear to be willing to some degree to turn this thing around. I’m waiting for the beta… Ok, was a lie. To be honest this shit seems as though it’s already a closed deal in my mind. So, I’ll probably let EA give me the tip; kids that a euphemism. I’m saying I’ll probably buy it, site unseen. But, I’m not eatin’ the booty; that’s another euphemism… I’m not pre-ordering the game. I don’t give a shit if they are going to give me Yoda’s golden plated force imbued dong, and the ability to use it.

That’s it for today kiddos. Thanks again for stopping by. Please share if you like what you read. Also, I want to hear what you guys think. I’m certainly not always right, and I’d love to read or hear a well reasoned argument against my position. Also if I were you and had some spare change just hanging out doing a lot of fuck and/ or all; i’d invest in EA. They’re masters at pivoting out of PR nightmares, and their propaganda machine (marketing department), is second to no one. I, expect this game to launch hard in 4th quarter of this year after a beta in probably September or October. I’m out! See you on the next post. Don’t forget to hit me up on Twitter @ZorakTheMantis.

-Chali Baicunn

P.S. In case you’ve managed to somehow not see the trailer or the multiplayer demo, they’re below.